The Sparkle of Being Four

The newest game in the Silvera household—musical beds. Maddi decided the hallway linen cabinet is a perfect second bedroom. Last night she made a snugly bed on the closet floor with blankets, pillows, stuffed animals and a flashlight. Barely fitting underneath the bottom shelf, she curled up and slept for a couple of hours until she bonked her head and sneaked into my room for the rest of the night.

This morning Maddi asked for some water-lemon. She never can quite remember how to say watermelon. Then she caught herself and said what she meant was a lemon-time, her way of saying Clementine.  

Getting ready for preschool, she dressed in layers today: pink tutu, red tights, purple sweatpants, a wool sweater with her checkered winter coat over that. Blue earmuffs over her favorite hat with the white snowball pom-pom, black dress gloves under her baby blue mittens. Her final accessory—a purple fleece scarf with white daisy print.

I read recently of a woman my age who never wants to have children. And I paused thinking to each their own. I know for myself I want my children--they fill my days.

I’ve heard other people say “my kids are my life.” I’m not sure I can say that is exactly true for me either. My life is my life. And I realize someday my children will grow and leave and have lives that are their own lives.

I do know my children bring great meaning to my life. They are my energy, my love, my sparkle. They remind me what it’s like to be four years old—carefree as eating a juicy Clementine on a hot summer day. They remind me how comforting it is to snuggle. They remind me that I can create my own style. They remind me to love and to love with sparkle.

To each their own. I’m glad they’re mine.

Comments

[Roads]

It's harder to enjoy this time in quite the same way, I think, when it's you on your own and it feels different from how it should be.

But time goes quickly, looking backwards. And it's great to record these moments.