The World Inside of Us

The last week of school Jordan brought home a colored-pencil drawing. The entire page was sketched with a purple sky and a mom and two kids standing next to each other with sad faces. In the upper left hand corner there was God. He was orange. And next to God was an angel. He was gray. In the lower right hand corner was daddy, lying on the ground with his police hat next to him.

I asked Jordan to explain the picture to me, "We listened to music in music class that was very sad and the teacher said we had to draw a picture of it. At first I was going to draw a picture of Jesus on the cross, but then I decided to draw the day daddy died."

We were at church last week and filled out prayer request cards. Jordan handed his to me and it said, "Please help me to feel better."

I asked him if his tummy hurt, thinking that must be what he meant. He told me he felt fine. He wanted to feel better because his dad died. Six years later and it still hurts.

We've been reading a book this summer called, "A Fish Named Ed" by Sam Oliver. It's a workbook about grief and loss for kids. The book is about a little fish who loses his mom when he is scooped out of a creek by a man with a net for the man's fish tank. At the end of the book Ed realizes he can never go back to the creek, but learns "that the world he lived in and the world inside him--had changed him."

It feels like a big concept for little kids--the world inside of us. There are pages in the book for my kids to draw their life before loss and after loss. Jordan drew a picture of our family of four. Shawn was holding onto a heart shaped balloon with a bubble above his head that said, "Yeah." Jordan told me, "Daddy is saying, 'yeah' because it's his best day ever."

Madelynn's picture has seven people in it: Steven (Pops), Mommy, Jordan, Cajsa, Onie, Madelynn and Daddy (Shawn). Shawn has a huge heart drawn around his whole body. Maddi told me, "My life has many people in it...daddy is always in our hearts."

After reading the book and talking about daddy being gone, Madelynn said, "He's still here though."

"Where is he?" I asked.

"In the chair right next to you," Jordan told me.

"Yeah," Madelynn replied, and patting her chest said, "And he's here."

Loss is not the way I would have chosen for my kids to have a relationship with their dad. And I'm learning daily that they would have never chosen this path either. But, most of all I'm discovering that if we talk about it, deal with it and express our feelings honestly, my kids have a confidence about their dad and where he is. They have a secure feeling in their "world inside" about how much he loves them.

 

 

Comments

[mulberry outlet]

I had always wanted to learn about this topic ... I think it's great the way you expose .. great work and continuing on with this great blog

[Ugg boots]

Whether it’s editing facts for companies among sites, such as Fandango and IMDb or researching just what people are saying about upcoming films or television episodes, my engagement within the online community puts me face to face with consumers. As face to face as you can get through the internet, anyway.

[Christian Louboutin Sale]

When you've reached level three you have created a level of trust and connectivity that elevates your customer's experience from ordinary to distinct and memorable. You're also able to make more specific recommendations, find new products that he/she would never have even considered, and WOW him/her throughout his/her experience.. Not only do you positively win the customer at level three, but you'll also maximize your opportunity and create dramatically higher sales just by taking the time to make it through all three levels of customer knowledge.

[Lois O.]

How beautiful that your children are able to speak so openly and still have a strong relationship with their father despite the loss. Great credits to you. I have some nieces who have a similar loss (although not quite as young as your children), and I don't think they are given the oppurtunity to be so open about their loss. I fear what will happen to them as time goes on and they turn into adults.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.